Post by babybear on Oct 13, 2005 12:13:45 GMT -5
The Second Coming Of Christ
(you know the locusts)
Subtitle - What's Going On?
written Wednesday, August 06, 2003
(you know the locusts)
Subtitle - What's Going On?
written Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Things around my house have been weird lately. It's been raining now for 3 weeks straight. I'm about to go to my local hardware store and see if they have a do-it-yourself arc kit. I mean I could build one from scratch but I'm not sure I have that kind of time. I'm worried I won't have enough yard space to work on it though. Anyway along with the rain are these strange bug encounters. Like really weird.
Bug Encounter One - One week ago
I'm sitting at the computer, minding my own business and this giant, nasty ant just crawls on my hand. Startled and as not to squish it on me, my first instinct is too swat it off me. My heart was racing.
Later that night I'm speaking with my snigglywigglypants online and I told the story of the vicious any attack. I added on the end..... "I probably gave the poor bugger a heart attack". You know because I flung it across the room and all. And he responded with..... "Probably and he also may have thought...WOW I'm flying." To this very moment this makes me giggle uncontrollably, the thought that this ant was thinking that as he went sailing across the room.
Bug Encounter Two - 3 Days Ago
Again I'm at the computer, again minding my own business and I felt something on my leg. I flick it away thinking "hmmmmm probably another ant." Ants are gross but more tolerable then most bugs I suppose. Except the way their body is constructed with the little ball segments just plain sicks me out. Anyway back to the story. After I flicked it I looked on the floor and to my horror and disbelief it was a freaking earwig. These little beasts with pinchers on their asses I mean ... how gross is that? What need does ass pinchers serve? So I chase the little thingy half way across the house eventually killing it.
Bug Encounter 3 - Less then 24 Hours Ago
The pain and horror of this one it still fresh and probably the reason I'm even awake at 3:35 in the morning writing this horrid tale.
At approximately 6:00am I decided to finally go to sleep. In a totally unrelated story I seem to have my days and nights mixed up and I couldn't sleep. So I get ready for bed. Brush my teeth, wash my face etc, go into my room, turn on my Enya CD and lay my throbbing head on my Care Bear pillow and close my eyes.
I drift off thinking of happy thoughts, listening to the rain outside the window mix pleasantly with the CD. I was just in that half awake, half asleep state where you almost feel drugged up. Where even the slightest thing could startle you. And that is when it happened.
I feel a tickle on my leg. My first thought was that it was a breeze moving the blanket. Then I felt it again. And the horrific realization that it was something of the bug persuasion entered my mind. I jump from a laying position to sitting up whilst kicking off the blanket. I reach to turn on the lamp. Scared to see it but knowing I have no choice.
Gingerly as not to startle and aggravate the unknown creature I peel back the blanket. I see it. It sees me. I'm staring into the face of evil. The devil incarnate in my bed. It was like this weird hybrid of large cricket/roach looking thing with these huge curling feelers. Dark black in color. Inside I'm freaking out knowing that the evil beast had been crawling up my thigh.
At that moment things took a turn for the worse. It attacked. Lunging at me causing me to scream and grab the nearest thing, which happened to be a book and start beating it. But it doesn't die. The combination of the fact it was on a soft blanket and it's seemingly indestructible exoskeleton made it almost impossible to kill. At one point thinking it was dead I removed the book. To my horror and dismay it once again lunges at me. I swear it had a bat, possibly a small knife. I have to admit at this point I lost it and totally freaked out. With each hit of the book I'm yelling, "Die ... Die ..... Please just die!!" Finally after what seemed an eternity the nasty, evil beast was squished all over my blanket. I take a few seconds to collect myself and get over what just happened. Well as much as one can after such an incident.
I clean up the mess and change the sheet. Trying to convince myself to go back to sleep. But I can't help thinking that creature was not alone and its friends were waiting in the shadows. Waiting for me to fall asleep and avenge their friend's death. Every time the blanket brushed my leg I bolted awake reliving the awful event. I had dreams of Jiminy Cricket's bad assed cousin and his posse the entire night.
As I retold this horrible event a few short hours later to sniggle, I was wondering what the thing was doing in my blanket. What was the purpose of it crawling up my leg? And he told me it was because it wanted me!!!! Oh horror of horrors!!!! The thought makes me ill. Then I start thinking it was an alien bug and it was sent here to spread its seed. Some people think I think too much but it's a viable concern. And as aliens are not my forte, even less so then bugs, you can imagine that this thought was startling.
Bug Encounter 4 - 7 hours Ago
The posse shows up. Well at least one of them. I see it moving out of the corner of my eye and I quickly try to kill it before it does that scary hopping attack that I remember all to clearly. I chase it across the living room but it stays close to furniture making it hard to locate and hard to kill. It hops into the videos tapes and gets lost amongst them. I start knocking over piles using a book. Trying to stay as far away whilst I search for the demon spawn loose in my home. Unfortunately it was not found and it still running freely. I think it called for reinforcements personally.
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I'm thinking that due to the rain the creatures in question have decided to come in my ground level windows for a dry place to live. But I'm still concerned and am extremely distressed over the events of late.
How will it end? Will the bugs regroup and come back stronger and in numbers? I don't know. (DEAR GOD I HOPE NOT!!!) Tune in for the next instalment of As The Bugs Crawl. I'll keep you informed of all late breaking news.
